Oh brother…here we go again…
Researchers at Harvard University announced today that they have found what appears to be a message from God written inside the human genome.
In a little-explored section of non-coding DNA, a team of top geneticists discovered a 22-word snippet of ancient Aramaic in which God confirms his existence and his role in creating life on Earth.
The stunning finding represents nearly irrefutable evidence of God’s existence and his role in creating the process of evolution by natural selection.
The message was discovered when researchers noticed strange mathematical patterns appearing within a certain section of the genome.
For Heaven’s Sake
“We knew the patterns weren’t naturally occurring,” explains Charles Watson, the lead scientist on the project, “but we couldn’t come up with any convincing explanation for them.
“On a whim, we started cross referencing the patterns with language databases,” he explains, “and we were shocked to find that the patterns corresponded to ancient Aramaic.”
Stunned by its discovery, the team contacted language experts familiar with Aramaic - the language Jesus Christ spoke in daily life.
Entirely decoded, the message reads: “Hello my children. This is Yahweh, the one true Lord. You have found creation’s secret. Now share it peacefully with the world.”
Yahweh is the biblical name for the Judeo-Christian god.
Inherit The Earth
The findings will be published in the journal Nature next month, and are expected to provoke the biggest scientific controversy since Charles Darwin published his theory of natural selection in 1859.
“This doesn’t mean that the theory of evolution is wrong,” says Watson. “It’s just incomplete. It seems that in reality the Judeo-Christian god actually started the whole process.
“And instead of just telling us about natural selection, he left a hidden signature that we could find 200,000 years later when we invented the right technology. It makes total sense really.
“Before this discovery I was a committed atheist. Now I’m a devout Christian. This is exactly the kind of proof I needed to ease my doubts.”
In addition to its profound impact on science, the news is set to revolutionize the world of comparative religion.
“I think the message clearly indicates that God wants us to co-exist peacefully with our fellow human beings,” says Janice Taylor, a bishop in the Anglican Church.
However, other Christian denominations have a different interpretation of the scientists’ findings.
“Clearly this means our God is the one true God and that we should exterminate rival religions,” says Frank Page, leader of the conservative Southern Baptist Convention. ”Now that we have truth on our side, I think it’s time we start a new crusade.”