I guess, this blog is a reflection of my personal journey and adventure in what would be best called Christianity. As with many terms, Christianity has earned a reputation that is less than stellar. So many things can be and are attributed to Christianity, most of which are not scriptural.
- To be submissive even when it doesn’t make sense.
- To be willing to hurt, cry and suffer for the greater good.
- To fall back into the arms of my loving and interested Saviour even when all around me is dark and unresponsive.
- To give God glory in everything. It’s because of Him I witness to those who are lost and it’s because of Him I tie my shoes in the morning.
- I am His slave, bought with a price. I am not my own anymore and I belong, lock, stock and barrel to Him.
To look back at who I was before God decided to enroll me in boot camp is shocking to say the least. I was selfish, egotistical and full of false-doctrine.
I truly believed that I, yes I was in control.
I truly believed that because Jesus was given all power in heaven and earth, the same applied to me.
I believed that I was an extension of the godhead because afterall the Bible does say that we reign with Jesus…right?
And I truly believed that it was God’s obligation to make sure that I was rich, healthy and prosperous in this life. Afterall, I am a child of the King…right?
I realized that I was very much like this horse, thinking I was on the right track but unbeknownst to me, I was heading for destruction. I can look back now and safely say that I wasn’t even saved. I didn’t understand what it meant to be saved. I wasn’t told that I was in complete rebellion with God. I wasn’t told about my willful anarchy. I wasn’t told that MY sin saturated the body of the sinless lamb. No one ever told me that my constant sinning was trampling the Son of God into the dirt! I was told that I was a good boy. I was told all about heaven and how wonderful it would be to go there one day. I was told about all the perks that came with Christianity. Not once was I ever informed about my sin, rebellion, ego, pride and the fact that I DESERVED HELL!!! If anyone had told me that way back in 1983, I probably would have turned right around and sat down. Instead I recited a few well-written phrases, was given a New Testament Bible and was declared a Christian. Well whoopty do!
I was still sinning, still messing up and took no thought as to what my sinful lifestyle was doing to my beloved Saviour. Ask me if I cared…I would probably say yes, but didn’t put much stock into anything concerning my lifestyle because afterall I was saved, washed by the blood of the Lamb and all sins, past, present and future were taken away! Nowhere was there any mention of my constant disregard for my actions, words and thoughts. Nowhere did anyone say that if you continue on this road, then grace and Christ’s sacrifice is made of no effect. I was an heir afterall, an extension to the godhead, created in the image of God. Wouldn’t this give one freedom and liberty? I had heard from time to time people talking about God’s sovereignty, and of course agreed with it whole-heartedly, but to what extent? Did I believe He was in complete control? Or did I believe He was in complete control…but? I, just like countless others didn’t want to accept that my life was in the hands of a God who wasn’t moved by human emotions and feelings. I didn’t want to accept the fact that God was in COMPLETE control of everything and nothing was outside of His pre-ordained purposes. This would mean that I wasn’t…and that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, I could assure you.
Then the day came when God had had enough. A day of reckoning if you will. It started just over two years ago, when all hell broke loose in my life. It was a wake up call of all wake up calls and I faced Jesus Christ my supposed Saviour in the middle of the ring and was given a choice, either bow or be destroyed. This tree has taken up the soil for too long, and the time has come to either rip it out, or for the tree to wake up. I woke up. For the first time, I realized that I wasn’t saved. I thought I was, I thought I loved Christ with all my heart, but it wasn’t until this moment in my life when everything was being systematically stripped away, I realized that I was playing a role. I was acting the part of a Christian and nothing more.
Jesus broke me.
I realized that I was that proverbial lump of clay that was hard and dry and the only way for God to do anything with me that He desired, was for me to be utterly and completely smashed to a thousand shards. And He did it without an iota of remorse for He knew what needed to be done and that it needed to be done now for I was in many ways drowning in my religious hypocrisy.
Don’t misunderstand me, I was better than a lot of those around me.
I was sincere, I thought. I was humble, I thought.
And I loved Jesus with all of my heart…I thought.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and my road was better paved than most. But Jesus wanted me to travel 4×4 for a while. And boy what a trek it has been.
I have come to the place now where I realize that I am a worm, a speck, a clump of dirt, a slave with no rights of my own whatsoever and ONLY by the grace, love and power of God can I do anything. Do I keep my heart pumping? Am I in charge of my chest heaving in and out while air is sucked in and carbon dioxide is expelled? Am I telling my nerves to fire at the right intervals? I am at God’s mercy from one second to the next. We all are. For a man to think for one second that he is the master of his life and destiny is complete idiocy.
I finally realized that I wasn’t in control of my life, I wasn’t the master of my destiny and I wasn’t going to make things better by my professions, confessions and affirmations. God will do what He wants, when He wants and how He wants, and He was not going to let me and my foolishness get in His way. He had plans for me and my family, and He was going to do what needed to do, come hell, high water or me.
So my journey began, or perhaps it had always been going on, but now it was jerked into high gear. I don’t know, but what I do know is this. All of the pride, foolishness, immaturity and all of the false teachings that have gathered in the dark recesses of my mind were being swept out into the daylight and the housecleaning of all housecleanings had kicked into action. Everything I had once argued, believed, confessed and stood by were all being purged and skimmed off and God was at work in me.
I have never cried so much, heaved so much and hurt so much as I have these years. I have had my heart ripped into pieces over and over, I have been lied about and to and I have been betrayed by those closest to me. I have learned to forgive the unforgivable, love the unloveable, turn the other cheek, go the extra mile and give until it hurt. I have learned to submit, obey, conform and accept God’s will, no matter what that means. No matter the sacrifice, the pain and the cost, I have learned to submit and bow myself to God’s will…period.
It has been hard, but it also has been so worth it. Would I turn the clock back and go back to the place where I wasn’t ripped to shreds by the Lion of the Tribe of Judah? NO! I am thankful, happy and joyous over my trials, because through my trials so much good has come forth.
I pray that through this blog, you, the reader, will grow and be nourished. I pray you will be challenged and changed. I pray that you will allow God to move you, change you, break you and conform you into the image of Jesus Christ. If this is accomplished, then my blog has accomplished the minor objective. But the main objective is and always will be to bring glory to God. This is what I desire, this is what I strive for. Your benefit is just the icing on the cake.
Below is my statement of faith…
1. The Bible is the verbal inspiration of God. (II Timothy 3:16-17; II Peter 1:20-21)
2. In one God eternally existing in three persons; the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. (Deuteronomy 6:4; Matthew 28:19; II Corinthians 13:14; John 14:10, 26)
3. I believe in the Person and Work of Christ:
a- I believe that the Lord Jesus Christ, the eternal Son of God, became man, without ceasing to be God, having been conceived by the Holy Spirit and born of the virgin Mary, in order that He might reveal God and redeem sinful men (Isaiah 7:14, 9:6; Luke 1:35; John 1:1-2, 14; II Corinthians 5:19-21; Galatians 4:4-5; Philippians 2:5-8).
b- I believe that the Lord Jesus Christ accomplished our redemption through His death on the cross as a representative, vicarious, substitutionary sacrifice; and, that our justification is made sure by His literal, physical resurrection from the dead (Acts 2:18-36; Romans 3:24-25; I Peter 2:24; Ephesians 1:7; I Peter 1:3-5).
c- I believe that the Lord Jesus Christ ascended to Heaven, and is now exalted at the right hand of God, where, as our High Priest, He fulfills the ministry of Representative, Intercessor, and Advocate (Acts 1:9-10; Hebrews 9:24, 7:25; Romans 8:34; I John 2:1-2).
4. I believe that all have sinned and come short of the Glory of God and that repentance is commanded of God for all and necessary for forgiveness of sins;—-That justification, regeneration, and the new birth are wrought by faith in the blood of Jesus Christ. (Genesis 1:26-27; Romans 3:22-23, 5:12, 6:23; Ephesians 2:1-3, 4:17-19 John 1:12; Ephesians 1:7, 2:8-10; I Peter 1:18-19)
5-I believe in the bodily resurrection of all men, the saved to eternal life, and the unsaved to judgment and everlasting punishment (Matthew 25:46; John 5:28-29, 11:25-26; Revelation 20:5-6, 12-13)
6- I believe that the souls of the redeemed are, at death, absent from the body and present with the Lord, where in conscience bliss they await the first resurrection, when spirit, soul, and body are reunited to be glorified forever with the Lord (Luke 23:43; II Corinthians 5:8; Philippians 1:23, 3:21; I Thessalonians 4:16-17; Revelations 20:4-6)
7- I believe that Jesus Christ WILL return again! (Psalms 89:3-4; Daniel 2:31-45; Zechariah 14:4-11; I Thessalonians 1:10, 4:13-18; Titus 2:13; Revelations 3:10, 19:11-16, 20:1-6).
a- That the “blessed hope”, the personal return of Christ who will catch-up His Church, was Prophesied, is true, and will be fulfilled.
b -While we are told of signs that will proceed this, we are not to set dates—thus recognizing the total sovereignty of God.
c- I believe the Body of Christ should not only be watching daily for our Lords return, but should also be prepared at ALL time;
- Prepared’ ie–In being about the business of the Great Commission (Mark 16:15-18)
- By fighting the ‘Good fight of Faith’ (Eph.6:10-18)—
- Never forgetting those that have went before us (Hebrews 11:1-40–Hebrews 12:1-4)
8- I believe there will be a New Heaven and New Earth, at the time our Lord sets up His Kingdom on earth. (Rev.21 & 22)
9 -I believe in the Unity of the body of Christ—-based on salvation through Christ only, love for the brethren, and servant-hood to one another (Rom.12:5 1Cor.10:17 Eph.4:13 Eph.4:3 1Peter 3:8)
“That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me” John 17:21
“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” John 13:35
“Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment” 1Cor.1:10
“Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently” 1Peter 1:22
This blog is a work in progress. It is an instrument, not a replacement for evangelism and reaching the lost for Christ; but it helps. This blog is solely written for the glory of God. A concept we all have trouble with. It is my desire that everything written herein, glorifies God, honours God and works toward building a foundation for others to build upon in future generations.
If one person, one soul comes to life through Christ Jesus through this blog, then all the writing, studying, prayers and tears were worth it.
Sola Dei Gloria!